Executor Survival Kit: You’ve Been Named. Now What?
So… you’ve just found out you’ve been named executor.
Maybe you expected it. Maybe it came out of left field. Either way, it’s official. You’re now the person responsible for settling someone’s estate.
And while most people assume this is just a matter of filing a few papers and handing out inheritance cheques, those of us who’ve actually walked the path know better. Being an executor is a big job, one that often starts when you’re already grieving, confused, and overwhelmed.
This article isn’t about checklists. It’s about you. It’s about how you can protect your emotional bandwidth, avoid legal landmines, and keep your head above water while carrying out someone’s final wishes.
Take Care of You First
Here’s the truth: settling an estate is stressful. There’s grief. There’s pressure. There are family dynamics (which are rarely simple). And there’s a ton of paperwork, timelines, and responsibilities that most people aren’t prepared for.
If that sounds like a lot, that’s because it is. So please, before anything else, be sure to take a moment to acknowledge what you’re feeling. Grief and guilt, resentment and obligation… it’s all normal.
Know What You’re Actually Taking On
Being named executor isn’t just a symbolic gesture. It means you’re legally responsible for wrapping up someone’s entire financial life: filing taxes, paying off debts, distributing assets, closing accounts, dealing with property, and more.
It also means you’re on the hook if something goes wrong.
And here’s what most people don’t know: you don’t have to say yes. If the estate is too complex or if you’re not in a place where you can manage it, you’re allowed to decline. Or, you can accept the role but get help – professional, experienced support that keeps you out of trouble and helps you navigate the process.
You Don’t Have to Do Everything
This role can take a year or more. It’s not just a weekend project. There’s a reason it’s known as “the unpaid part-time job nobody trains for.”
There’s no award for doing it all yourself. In fact, trying to handle everything, while working, parenting, grieving, or just living, can lead to burnout, resentment, and mistakes.
You’re allowed to ask for help.
You’re allowed to delegate.
You’re allowed to say, “This is too much for one person.”
And if you’re feeling unsure about what to do (or when), that’s exactly why I created services like my Executor Essentials package.
The Survival Kit (A Quick Starter List)
Here’s what every executor needs in their toolkit before they ever fill out a form:
Emotional support – Someone who won’t judge your tears, frustration, or need to vent
Legal clarity – A basic understanding of what you can and can’t do (and when to ask for help)
Organizational system – A binder, folder, or spreadsheet to track it all
Boundaries – With family, friends, and even your own inner perfectionist
Back-up – Professional guidance for the tough stuff, whether it’s selling a house, dealing with tax issues, or managing disputes
You Were Trusted for a Reason—But You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Being an executor is a huge responsibility. But it doesn’t have to come at the cost of your health, your peace of mind, or your sanity.
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being supported.
If you’re overwhelmed, confused, or just not sure where to begin, I invite you to take the first step. My Executor Support programs are designed to walk with you through the process—whether you need a little guidance or a lot.
And most importantly?
Be kind to yourself. You’re doing something hard. You don’t have to do it alone.
In recent years, I’ve heard some of the worst estate planning advice that people have been given. Because estate planning can feel complicated, people often latch onto simple-sounding advice. Unfortunately, “simple” doesn’t always mean good. In fact, some of the worst estate planning advice I’ve ever heard gets passed around as though it were gospel. Unfortunately, I’ve also seen families living with the fallout when someone actually followed it.
Estate planning isn’t about fancy documents drafted by lawyers or accountants. It’s about making sure your loved ones are protected, your wishes are respected, and your legacy is handled with dignity. Bad advice can derail all of that.
While some of these tips might sound convenient or even clever, following them can leave behind chaos, conflict, and costs for the very people you were trying to protect. Let’s look at seven of the worst estate planning myths and why they can be so dangerous (and why you should run the other way if you hear them).
1. “Just put your child’s name on the house and accounts — it’s easier.”
On the surface, this sounds practical. If your child’s name is on your house title or your bank accounts, everything just “automatically” goes to them when you die, right? No courts, no probate, no fuss.
The reality is much riskier. Adding a child as joint owner creates an immediate legal ownership interest. That means if they get divorced, declare bankruptcy, or are sued, your assets may be dragged into their financial mess. On top of that, it can create huge capital gains tax issues if the property isn’t your child’s principal residence.
Even worse, it can cause family discord. If you have more than one child but only one is named jointly, the others may be disinherited — sparking resentment and even lawsuits.
Case in Point:
A couple added their daughter to their house title to “make things easier.” When she went through a divorce, her estranged husband claimed part of her share of the home. The parents never imagined their lifelong asset would end up in family court — but it did.
2. “A will is all you need.”
A will is important, but it’s not the whole story. A will only comes into effect after death. It does nothing to protect you or your loved ones if you become incapacitated. Without an enduring power of attorney and a personal directive, your family may need to apply to court just to pay your bills or make medical decisions.
Wills also don’t bypass probate. In fact, because wills must usually go through probate, they become part of the public record. That means anyone can request a copy, which may not be ideal if you’d prefer to keep family or financial details private.
And finally, a will doesn’t automatically keep things simple. Executors still need to settle debts, file taxes, and get clearance from the Canada Revenue Agency before distributing assets.
A will is a cornerstone, but estate planning is the entire house — it should cover incapacity, tax efficiency, and privacy as well.
💡Estate planning is more than one document. With my Legacy Planning Essentials Package, you’ll have the key tools in place — not just a will, but also enduring powers of attorney and personal directives — so your family isn’t left scrambling if something happens.
3. “You don’t need a will at all — the government will sort it out.”
Technically true. Yes, if you die intestate (without a will), laws in your jurisdiction will dictate who inherits your estate. But the government doesn’t know your relationships, your promises, or your priorities.
Under intestacy laws, your spouse and children usually split the estate, but what if you’re in a blended family? What if you wanted to leave something to a sibling, a friend, or a charity? Without a will, those wishes are ignored.
The process is also slower and costlier. Someone must apply to the court to be appointed administrator, which can cause disputes if multiple people step forward. And in the meantime, bills go unpaid, property sits, and assets may lose value.
Bottom line: skipping a will doesn’t save time or money — it creates more stress and expense for your family.
4. “Planning is a one-and-done job. No need to review or update.”
This is one of the most common and costly myths. Life changes, and things like divorces, remarriages, births, deaths, changes in tax laws, or even moving provinces, all affect your estate plan.
An outdated will might name executors who are deceased or unwilling, leave assets to people who no longer need or want them, or fail to reflect your current wishes. Outdated beneficiary designations can even override your will, leaving accounts to an ex-spouse or estranged relative.
Estate Planning Tip:
Review your plan every 3–5 years, or after any major life event. A quick update today can prevent years of headaches for your executor later.
Estate planning isn’t “set it and forget it.” It’s a living process that needs maintenance, just like your financial plan.
5. “Trusts are only for the wealthy.”
This outdated idea prevents many families from using tools that could genuinely help them. Trusts aren’t just for billionaires with offshore accounts . In Canada and the US, everyday families benefit from them all the time.
A trust can:
Protect a child with a disability without jeopardizing government benefits (e.g., a Henson trust).
Allow a surviving spouse to use assets during their lifetime while ensuring children from a first marriage inherit later.
Reduce probate fees or taxes by keeping certain assets out of the estate.
Protect assets from creditors or spendthrift beneficiaries.
While not everyone needs a trust, dismissing them outright as “too fancy” or “too expensive” can mean missing out on solutions tailored to your family’s needs. Be sure to obtain proper advice from a legal professional to see if a trust is appropriate for your circumstances.
💡 The right planning tools aren’t just for the wealthy. My Comprehensive Legacy Package helps you explore whether a trust — or other strategies — could simplify your estate, protect your heirs, and minimize costs. See what’s included.
6. “You have to name your family as beneficiaries.”
Short answer: No, you don’t. Many people feel pressured to leave everything to their children or other relatives, even when that doesn’t reflect their values, relationships, or circumstances. In truth, you can choose who benefits from your estate — family, friends, charities, or even a trust for a beloved pet.
Forcing yourself into the “everything to the kids” model can actually cause conflict. What if your children don’t get along? What if one is better suited to inherit the family cabin while another would prefer financial assets?
Good planning is about aligning your estate with your values and making decisions that reduce, not inflame, family tension.
7. “Estate planning won’t save you taxes or keep things out of probate — so why bother?”
This one is particularly dangerous because it convinces people that planning doesn’t matter. The truth is, prudent estate planning can save both money and time.
Properly designating beneficiaries on registered accounts like RRSPs, RRIFs, or TFSAs can transfer those assets directly, bypassing probate altogether.
Using trusts, joint partner strategies, or gifting can help minimize taxes and preserve more wealth for your beneficiaries.
Planning can also prevent your will (and the details of your assets) from becoming entirely part of the public record, since assets that bypass probate remain private.
Without these strategies, your estate may face unnecessary probate fees, higher taxes, and public scrutiny.
Story Spotlight:
One family assumed nothing could be done about probate. After updating their plan with proper beneficiary designations, they not only stood to save thousands in probate fees but also kept several accounts private, sparing their heirs both cost and unwanted attention.
Wrapping It Up…
The worst advice usually has one thing in common: it sounds easy. “Just put your child’s name on the title.” “Just make a will and you’re done.” “Don’t bother, the government will sort it out.”
But shortcuts in estate planning rarely save time or money. More often, they leave behind delays, disputes, and higher costs for your loved ones.
The best advice? Build a plan that:
Covers both incapacity and death.
Minimizes taxes and probate wherever possible.
Reflects your real wishes (not assumptions).
Is reviewed and updated regularly.
Estate planning isn’t about making things complicated — it’s about making things clear. A thoughtful plan today saves your family heartache tomorrow.
Want to ensure your estate avoids the “worst advice hall of fame”? Let’s connect and talk about how to design a plan that truly works for you and your loved ones.
At NEXsteps, we help you plan, prepare, and protect — so your family isn’t left sorting out the pieces. Reach out today to get started on a plan that works for you.
DIY Estate Planning: Why “Doing It Yourself” Isn’t Always the Smartest Move
I certainly understand the appeal of DIY estate planning. With online templates, how-to videos, and fill-in-the-blank legal forms, it can seem like a cost-effective, efficient way to get your affairs in order. After all, why pay for professional help when you can just download a document and fill it out yourself?
But here’s the thing: estate planning is more than paperwork. It’s about strategy, timing, and understanding the implications of every decision—legal, financial, and personal. And when it’s done without the right guidance, it can create more problems than it solves.
As a Certified Executor Advisor, I help individuals and families navigate estate planning and administration. I don’t draft documents or give legal advice, but I do see what happens when well-meaning people try to handle things on their own. Often, they don’t even know what questions to ask. And one tool I’ve seen misunderstood more than once is the alter ego trust.
A Real-World Example
A family reached out recently. They were exploring options to simplify the estate of an aging parent whose memory had started to decline. The parent still owned a rental property and also had a partial interest in the family home. There were debts involved — mortgages, some outstanding taxes, repair bills — and concern about what would happen if something happened before the rental was sold.
They’d heard about alter ego trusts and wondered if that could be a simple way to protect the home, avoid probate, and keep everything out of court. They were even considering setting it up themselves using information they’d found online. This is where DIY can become dangerous.
What Is an Alter Ego Trust?
In Canada, an alter ego trust is a living trust available to individuals aged 65 and older. You can move assets into it while you’re alive, remain the sole beneficiary, and then pass those assets directly to others upon your death, without the requirement of going through probate. Want to read our earlier article about alter ego trusts?
It sounds like a great solution – and sometimes, it is. But this isn’t a plug-and-play tool. It’s a complex legal instrument, and the consequences of using it incorrectly can be serious.
What Can Go Wrong with DIY Estate Planning Involving Trusts?
When people take the do-it-yourself route, especially with something like a trust, they often overlook key legal and financial issues that a professional would catch. Here are just a few examples:
1. Capacity Is Critical
To create a valid trust, the person creating the trust must have the mental capacity to understand what they’re doing. If there’s any doubt, due to age, illness, or cognitive decline, the trust can be challenged or overturned.
In the case I mentioned, the parent’s memory issues raised red flags. Without a medical assessment and clear documentation, any disgruntled party could later argue that the trust was invalid.
2. It Won’t Eliminate Debt
There’s a misconception that trusts can magically “protect” assets from creditors. They don’t. If there are mortgages or tax debts, they can follow the assets, trust or no trust. Moving a property into a trust doesn’t make those obligations disappear. Some types of trusts (e.g., spousal, Henson trusts) may protect against future creditors or certain claims, but only if structured correctly and not set up with the intention of dodging existing debts. That’s why these must be carefully designed with legal advice.
In this situation, the rental property had not yet sold, and there were concerns about foreclosure. If the trust was seen as a last-minute effort to avoid paying creditors, it could have been subject to challenge.
3. Intent and Timing Matter
If a trust is created too close to a financial or health crisis, courts may question whether it was created voluntarily or with the proper understanding. In cases of undue influence, lack of capacity, or fraudulent intent, the trust can be contested.
Without proper legal advice, these risks are often overlooked in DIY situations.
The Hidden Cost of “Saving Money”
Yes, hiring a lawyer to draft your estate documents or trust will cost more than filling in a template. Legal fees for creating a trust might range from $2,000 to $5,000 or more, depending on complexity. And, of course, there are ongoing fees for taxes, etc.
But the cost of doing it wrong? That can include:
Court challenges that drag on for months or years
Legal fees that far exceed the original cost of doing it right
Delayed access to funds or property for beneficiaries
Broken relationships and family conflict
Worse, if your trust is declared invalid, the estate may end up going through probate anyway, defeating the very purpose of setting it up. If your will is declared invalid, you essentially die intestate, and the government will take over until and unless a family member steps up — and it may not be someone you would choose!
When a Trust Makes Sense—and When It Doesn’t
Alter ego trusts have legitimate benefits. They can:
Bypass probate
Preserve privacy
Provide continuity if capacity is lost
But they also come with administrative complexity, ongoing legal obligations, and tax considerations. They aren’t a substitute for a full estate plan and they certainly aren’t something to set up casually without help.
In the case I mentioned, the trust might have been a viable solution if the parent still had full capacity, if creditor risk had been addressed, and if everything was clearly documented with legal support. But without those safeguards, it could have created more problems than it solved.
The Bottom Line
DIY estate planning may save money upfront, but it can cost far more in the long run — financially, legally, and emotionally. Tools like alter ego and other trusts are powerful, but they’re also complex. They need to be used correctly, with expert guidance, and with your full situation in mind.
Need help figuring out what questions to ask?
As a Certified Executor Advisor, I help you understand the options, uncover the risks, and connect with the professionals you need to make informed, confident decisions.
If you’re considering a trust, or any estate planning tool, don’t rely on what you’ve read online or downloaded from a website. Get the right advice. Ask the right questions. Understand the full picture. For step-by-step guidance that covers far more than just documents, explore my Comprehensive Legacy & Lifestyle Planning Package — a proven way to protect your legacy and give your family peace of mind.
When Planning Isn’t Enough: How to Avoid Estate Settlement Delays and Problems
Estate settlement delays can happen even when you have a will, powers of attorney, and all the right documents in place. You may feel relieved knowing your affairs are “handled,” but even the most thorough planning can still run into roadblocks. I’ve seen well-organized estates grind to a halt because of missing details, outdated information, or disputes no one expected.
Delays don’t just cost time and money — they add stress and uncertainty for the very people you were trying to protect. The good news? With a little more preparation, you can give your executor the tools they need to wrap up your estate as smoothly as possible.
The Gap Between Planning and Reality
Having a will isn’t a guarantee of a smooth administration. Many people assume that if the documents are in place, the executor simply follows instructions and distributes assets.
In reality, your executor may still face months – sometimes years – of work depending on what is uncovered after death. Missing accounts, disputes, or asset complexities can all slow the process and create estate settlement delays for your beneficiaries.
Common Problems That Cause Estate Settlement Delays
Even well-planned estates can hit unexpected snags. Here are some of the most common issues that create delays and the hidden challenges they bring for executors and families.
1. Outdated Information: Beneficiary designations that don’t match the will, old addresses, or forgotten bank accounts can all create delays. Executors often spend significant time tracking down accounts or clarifying ownership.
2. Missing or Unclear Instructions: Personal property, like jewellery or heirlooms, is often left out of formal documents. Without instructions, disputes can arise — even in otherwise harmonious families.
3. Complex Assets: Multiple properties, business interests, or investments in different provinces or countries can require additional legal steps, more cost and extended timelines.
4. Executor Challenges: Even a willing executor can face difficulties if they live far away, are unfamiliar with the process, or become ill or incapacitated themselves.
5. Disputes and Legal Claims: Family members may contest the will. Dependants or spouses can make legal claims, even if the will appears clear.
6. Tax Filing Delays: Estates often require multiple tax returns, sometimes for both the deceased and the estate itself. If records are missing, this can hold up filing. Incomplete or late returns can lead to penalties and prevent CRA from issuing a clearance certificate, which means the executor can’t close the estate.
7. Amended Returns and Trust Account Setup: If an asset is discovered late or income comes in after an initial return is filed, amended returns may be required. In some cases, the estate may also need to set up a trust account with the CRA for ongoing administration, both of which add time and complexity to the process.
A Costly RRIF Delay
In one estate I worked with, beneficiaries didn’t claim their inheritance from a RRIF in a timely manner. This triggered an amended T4 from the RRIF issuer, which in turn meant the estate’s tax return had to be refiled. That one delay added months to the settlement process.
Why Delays Matter
Probate and estate settlement can’t be completed until every piece is in place. These delays can mean:
Financial strain on beneficiaries waiting for distributions
Increased legal fees if disputes or errors occur
Prolonged emotional stress for your family
Executor burnout and damaged family relationships
The Missing Bank Account
Sarah’s will listed all her major assets, but one small savings account at a credit union wasn’t documented. Her executor only found out months later, after tax filings revealed the account. The extra paperwork delayed the estate’s closing by almost a year.
Already have your plan in place? Our Annual Estate & Legacy Plan Review ensures your documents and details are current, accurate, and ready to work when needed.
How to Avoid These Pitfalls
The best way to prevent estate settlement delays is to go beyond the documents. That means keeping your plan current, making sure nothing is overlooked, and preparing your executor for the role ahead.
Review your plan regularly: Update not just your will, but all accounts and beneficiary designations.
Document everything: Keep a clear record of assets, passwords, contact lists, and instructions.
Choose the right executor: Select someone capable, available, and informed about your wishes.
Communicate your plan: Let your executor and key family members know where things are and what to expect.
Consider professional support: Executor assistance services can prevent missed details and speed up the process.
Prepared and Problem-Free
Elaine had her will, powers of attorney, and beneficiary designations reviewed every two years. She kept a complete inventory of accounts, insurance, passwords, and important contacts in one secure place. When she passed away, her executor was able to close the estate in under nine months — with no surprises, no disputes, and no CRA delays.
Closing the Gap Between Paper and Practice
Estate planning is essential, but it’s not the finish line. Keeping your plan current, ensuring your executor is prepared, and organizing the details behind the documents can make the difference between a smooth process and one that drags on for years. Let’s make sure your plan works in practice, not just on paper. Contact NEXsteps today to review, update, and prepare your estate for a truly smooth handover.
The Emotional Side of Estate Planning: Avoidance Costs More Than Action
Addressing the emotional side of estate planning is often the biggest reason people delay making a plan; not the cost, not the time, but the feelings it brings to the surface. We’d rather not talk about death or incapacity. Talking about our mortality is tough. And yet, putting it off doesn’t make reality of the need to plan disappear. It simply passes the weight of decision making to those you love at the worst possible time. And if no plan is in place, they may have to go to court to be able to make those decisions.
Why We Avoid the Conversation
There are lots of “reasons” we come up with to put off discussing our estate planning. You may have heard yourself or others say:
“I’m healthy right now — why worry?”
“It’s too depressing to talk about.”
“My family knows what I want.”
“We’ll get to it… someday.”
But beneath these rationalizations are real fears. They bring to the surface issues and concerns about decision making, conflict, or family dynamics and dysfunction. I’ve worked with people who admitted planning felt paralyzing. Often they are worried that raising the subject might bring upheaval or discomfort to those they love. Those feelings are valid, but they’re also the very reason planning matters.
If you’ve been putting off your planning, our Comprehensive Legacy Planning Package is designed to help you move forward, step-by-step. We provide the guidance and support you need.
The Price of Waiting:
Diane always meant to “get her affairs in order.” She passed suddenly, leaving her two children at odds — arguing over burial preferences and executor roles. What should have been a few months of formalities turned into years in court, high legal bills, and a family still healing from mistrust.
The Hidden Cost of Avoidance
Avoiding estate planning doesn’t just delay paperwork. It creates a ripple effect of stress, conflict, and emotional strain that families often don’t see coming.
Everything takes longer. Administrators wait on bank authorizations, court letters, and missing documents.
Costs escalate. Legal fees, executor stress, and emotional strain add up fast.
Disagreement grows. Sibling tensions and uncertainty breed conflict.
Grief increases. Loss becomes sharper when burdened by confusion or conflict.
The emotional toll is often greater than the money. I’ve seen executors wracked with second guessing their decisions and family ties weakened by miscommunication. A solid estate plan protects not just assets — but relationships.
Even if a will has been written, it might be out of date. Executors may have become unavailable for a variety of reasons, circumstances may have changes, and assets may have been sold. Unsure if your current documents are enough? Our Annual Estate & Legacy Plan Review makes sure your wishes are up to date and crystal clear.
The Relief That Comes With Taking Action
Here’s what surprises so many: once you begin planning, it becomes easier. A weight lifts because you’ve given your loved ones a clearly marked map, with directions they can follow when emotions run high. Without that direction, confusion and hesitation take over.
Making your estate plan helps:
Ease your family’s emotional burden.
Reduce the risk of disputes.
Ensure your wishes stand.
Provide guidance in moments clouded by grief.
Sometimes people don’t know where to start. If you need some direction, book a Personal Clarity Consultation to get focused, practical guidance tailored to your situation.
Peace of Mind in Action:
After watching her friend struggle through her father’s messy estate, Leah made a choice. She organized her will, powers of attorney, and medical preferences. A few years later, a sudden illness struck. Because her plan was clear, her care was seamless, bills were handled, and her family could focus on support instead of confusion.
Facing the Hard Questions — Gently
Estate planning isn’t just about documents — it’s about having the courage to face the questions most of us quietly avoid. Questions like:
Who will manage your finances if you can’t?
Who will make personal or medical decisions for you?
Who will carry out your wishes — financially and emotionally?
What values or messages do you want to leave behind?
Yes, these are tough questions. Maybe very uncomfortable questions. But they need to be addressed. We make it easier with our Essentials Package, which covers the core documents and conversations you need to get started.
How to Begin Without Feeling Overwhelmed
Taking the first step doesn’t have to feel daunting. Estate planning becomes far more manageable when you break it down into simple, meaningful actions. By starting small, you can build a strong foundation, involve the right people, and ensure your plan evolves with your life.
Start with someone you trust. Talk to your potential executor or attorney before naming them. Make sure they understand the risks and responsibility, and are willing and able to take on this role.
Write out what matters most. Even a simple list gives structure.
Partner with someone who understands. Professional guidance can ease the journey.
Keep it up to date. Life changes. Marriage, new babies, or a change in relationships, etc. should be reflected in your plan.
The Gift of Clarity:
When Vivian passed away, her daughter Jenna found a well-organized binder: wills, beneficiary details, medical wishes, even personal notes. In the middle of loss, Jenna felt comfort knowing not only what to do — but exactly what her mother wanted.
Your Plan is an Act of Love
Estate planning isn’t about preparing for the end, it’s about protecting and caring for the people you love most. Avoidance can feel like a way to keep hard emotions at bay, but it often leaves behind stress, unanswered questions, and unnecessary costs. By taking even the smallest steps now, you give your family the gift of peace, clarity, and the comfort of knowing your wishes are carried out with love.
Let’s start the conversation. Contact NEXsteps and take the first step toward peace of mind for you and your loved ones.
When There’s No One Left, Who Handles Your Estate?
Estate planning often assumes you have someone — a trusted friend, a sibling, a niece, even a capable neighbour — who can step into the role of executor when you pass away. But what if there’s no one left to take on this role?
This question came up recently in a conversation I had with someone who reached out for help. He told me that he has no one — no family, no friends who are capable of taking on the role. That moment stayed with me, because I realized how many others may quietly be in the same position.
Many individuals live alone, are estranged from family, or outlive their family and circle of friends. And while this isn’t always easy to talk about, it’s a very real and growing issue. So what happens when there’s no one left to act as executor?
What Is an Executor, and Why Does It Matter?
An executor (or estate trustee, in some provinces) is the person legally responsible for administering your estate after you die. They carry out your wishes, file final tax returns, distribute assets, pay off debts, and ensure your legacy is properly wrapped up.
But without a named executor, that job falls to… no one. At least, not right away.
When No One Is Named
If you have no will, or your will doesn’t name an executor (or if the person named is unwilling, unable, or unfit to act) then someone must apply to the court to be appointed. In many cases, that’s a family member.
But here’s something people don’t always consider: even if you do have someone in mind, they may not want the job.
Why? Because acting as an executor comes with significant responsibility and risk. Executors have a fiduciary duty to act in the best interests of the estate and its beneficiaries. That means they can be held personally liable if something goes wrong.
Add to that the emotional toll, the time commitment, and the fact that it’s often a thankless job, and it’s not hard to see why many people decline when asked, even when its someone they care about.
The Sister Who Said No
“I thought my sister would act as my executor,” one woman told me. “But when I brought it up, she said she couldn’t handle the stress — she’d seen a friend get taken to court over a simple mistake as executor, and it scared her off.”
Even loving family members can feel overwhelmed by the role. It’s not just a formality — it’s a legal and financial responsibility that many people are understandably hesitant to accept.
So if you don’t have family or friends, or the people you do have are unwilling to take on the role, what happens next?
When the Province Steps In
In these situations, the province will step in. This is typically through a Public Trustee or Public Guardian’s office, which becomes the administrator of last resort.
But keep in mind that the Public Trustee is a safety net, not a personalized service. Their role is to ensure your estate is settled legally, but their ability to honour personal wishes is limited. They don’t know your values, your history, or the importance of things like who gets your grandfather’s medals or what should happen to your beloved pet.
More importantly, the process may be slower, more bureaucratic, and less tailored than if you’d named someone privately.
What Can You Do If You Have No One?
If you’re reading this and realizing you don’t have anyone in your life who could serve as your executor, you’re not alone. And, you’re not without options.
Here are a few alternatives:
1. Hire a Professional Executor
There are individuals (like myself) and companies that provide professional executor services. You pay a fee, and in return, they take on the legal and administrative duties of your estate. This ensures someone competent and experienced will carry out your wishes when the time comes.
The Man Who Outlived Everyone
“I’ve outlived them all,” he told me. “My wife passed a few years ago. My siblings are gone. The friends I trusted? They’re no longer here. There’s no one left I’d feel comfortable leaving this to.”
For some, it’s not about estrangement or complicated family dynamics — it’s about longevity. Living a long life is a gift, but it can also mean watching your trusted circle slowly disappear. In these cases, a professional executor may be the only reliable and secure choice.
2. Appoint a Trust Company
Many financial institutions offer executor services through their trust departments. This is generally more expensive and less personal, but it’s a reliable solution for larger estates or where neutrality is key. This is not always an option, as they typically have a minimum value of the estate. This minimum is usually $1M.
3. Pre-Arrange with a Lawyer or Advisor
Some legal or financial professionals may be willing to take on this role or recommend someone qualified. It’s important to formalize this in your will and discuss it thoroughly in advance.
4. Consider a Hybrid Option
In some cases, individuals name a professional executor to manage the bulk of the responsibilities, with a trusted acquaintance acting as a co-executor to help with personal wishes or property access.
Why Planning Matters — Even When You’re Alone
Just because you don’t have a large network doesn’t mean your legacy should be handled by strangers or left to the courts. Your story, your values, and your wishes matter. Whether your estate is modest or complex, having a plan and someone responsible to carry it out gives you peace of mind and protects what you’ve built.
That’s why I created the Comprehensive Legacy Package . It’s a guided, step-by-step service that helps you document your wishes, organize your important information, and make key decisions while you’re still in control. It’s especially valuable for those who are on their own or want to ease the burden on others in the future.
A Growing Issue in Our Aging Society
We are living longer and longer. With this increased longevity come a rising numbers of people outliving family and friends. And this issue is only going to become more pressing. If this sounds like your situation, I encourage you to take action. Whether that means reaching out to a professional like myself, exploring trust company services, or even just starting a conversation, the most important step is the first one.
Don’t Leave It to the Government
Dying without a will is one thing. Dying without anyone to carry out your wishes is another. Don’t leave it to chance, or to the government. If you don’t have someone to name as your executor, let’s talk. There are options, and there is help. Visit nexsteps.ca to learn more. You can also explore my executor support services, or click here to book a personal consultation.
These 3 Estate Planning Mistakes Could Cost Your Family
Let’s face it—estate planning isn’t usually dinner party conversation. It can seem overwhelming, uncomfortable, and often gets put off to something you’ll get to “someday.” But none of us can predict what tomorrow will bring, and postponing the work or making assumptions can lead to costly consequences for the people you care about most.
After supporting families and individuals through estate and legacy planning, I’ve seen how a few common mistakes can unravel even the best intentions. Fortunately, they’re all avoidable—with the right conversations, tools, and support. So, with that in mind, here are the top 3 mistakes to avoid.
Mistake #1: Thinking Your Will Covers Everything
Many people breathe a sigh of relief once they’ve finally drafted a will. After all, although it is the cornerstone of your estate planning, most people put off getting it done. But that sense of security can be misleading.
A will is only one part of a complete estate plan. It governs assets that pass through your estate—but not everything you own goes through your estate. Jointly held assets with rights of survivorship (like a home owned with a spouse), registered accounts with named beneficiaries (RRSPs, RRIFs, TFSAs, life insurance), or assets held inside a corporation can bypass your will entirely. And make sure to review your beneficiaries regularly or risk having unintended consequences.
Real-life example:
A retired teacher in Alberta had a solid will leaving everything equally to her two adult children. However, her TFSA still listed her ex-husband as the beneficiary—a detail overlooked since their divorce 15 years earlier. When she passed away, the account went directly to her ex. The children were devastated, but legally there was nothing they could do. Lesson: your will doesn’t control everything—especially if you don’t keep your beneficiary designations up to date.
Another often-overlooked detail is how real estate is titled. For example, if you own a property with an adult child but haven’t clarified whether it’s joint tenancy or tenants-in-common, you could unintentionally trigger capital gains taxes or probate complexities.
What to do: Make a habit of reviewing all your assets—not just what’s listed in your will. Confirm how each account, property, and policy is titled and whether a beneficiary is named. When in doubt, get help interpreting how those designations interact with your estate plan.
Mistake #2: Naming the Wrong Executor—or Leaving the Role Unclear
Choosing your executor (also called an estate trustee in some jurisdictions) is one of the most important decisions you’ll make. Yet too often, people choose someone by default—like a spouse, adult child, or close friend—without considering whether they have the time, skills, or temperament to handle the job.
Executors are responsible for everything from locating the will and applying for probate (where required) to filing tax returns, paying debts, communicating with beneficiaries, and distributing assets. It’s a significant legal and administrative responsibility that can take 12–18 months—or even longer if the estate is complex.
Real-life example:
A man in his early 70s was named executor for his brother’s estate. He agreed, out of love and duty, but quickly became overwhelmed. The estate included two properties, multiple bank accounts, a business, and adult children who weren’t speaking to each other. He had no legal background and didn’t know where to start. After months of stress and costly delays, he reached out for help—but the early decisions had already created avoidable complications. Lesson: being named an executor is often seen as an honour—but it’s also a time consuming job requiring detailed record keeping.
What to do: Choose someone who is trustworthy, organized, and capable of following through—not just emotionally close to you. And always confirm they are willing to take on the role. If your estate is complicated or you want to spare loved ones the burden, consider appointing a professional executor or connecting your chosen executor with professional support.
At NEXsteps, we offer Executor Essentials and Executor Ally Plus—tailored services designed to guide executors through the estate administration process. Remember, your executor doesn’t have to figure it all out alone.
Mistake #3: Keeping Your Plan a Secret
Even the best estate plan can cause confusion or conflict if no one knows where to find it, what’s in it—or why.
Too often, people complete their planning and tuck it away, assuming their loved ones will figure it out when the time comes. But that lack of communication can leave room for assumptions, hurt feelings, and legal challenges.
Real-life example:
A widowed father of three left his entire estate to his second wife. The will was legally sound, but he had never told his children—nor explained why he made that decision. When he passed, the children were blindsided. They suspected coercion and launched a legal challenge that took years, drained the estate and destroyed family relationships. Lesson: open communication and conversations can prevent these types of outcomes.
What to do: You don’t have to share every detail or dollar amount, but it’s helpful to communicate your intentions—especially if your plan might surprise someone. Explain your reasoning and give people a chance to ask questions. These conversations don’t always feel easy in the moment, but they can spare your loved ones tremendous pain and confusion later.
If having that conversation feels too emotional or complicated, a third-party professional can help mediate or guide it. Sometimes just having someone neutral in the room makes all the difference. We offer Estate Conflict Coaching to assist with these discussions.
Bonus! Mistake #4: Forgetting to Update Your Plan
Creating a will and power of attorney is a great start—but life changes, and your plan needs to keep pace.
Have you moved? Married, divorced, or started a blended family? Acquired a business or vacation property? Named someone who is now deceased or incapacitated? These are all reasons to revisit your documents. Laws also change, and what worked five years ago may no longer serve you today.
For instance, recent legal reforms in Ontario mean that marriage no longer revokes an existing will (as it once did), and new rules about separated spouses may change who inherits. These aren’t just legal footnotes—they can completely change how your estate is distributed.
What to do: Make a habit of reviewing your plan every 3–5 years, or whenever a major life event happens. A good review doesn’t just confirm that your wishes are up to date—it ensures your documents still align with current laws and reflect the people, assets, and relationships in your life today.
At NEXsteps, we offer an Annual Estate & Legacy Plan Review designed to make this process simple, accessible, and proactive. It’s a small investment that can prevent big headaches down the road.
Final Thoughts
Estate planning isn’t just about paperwork—it’s about people. It’s about protecting your loved ones from unnecessary stress, preserving your values, and leaving a legacy that reflects who you are. By avoiding these common mistakes—and reviewing your plan regularly—you give your family the gift of clarity and peace of mind when they need it most.
If you’re unsure whether your plan is complete, or if your executor could benefit from guidance, let’s connect. At NEXsteps, we offer trusted, personalized support to help you plan wisely and leave well. Because the best legacy is one that’s built with intention.
5 Totally Valid Reasons You Don’t Need a Will (Said No One Ever)
…with one bonus reason that really matters.
You’ve probably heard it before: “You really should make a will.” But maybe you’re different. Maybe you like to live on the edge—tempting fate and family feuds. If so, this article is for you.
Here are five perfectly good reasons to skip writing a will—plus one you might not have thought of—and exactly what can happen if you do.
1. You Love Surprises… Especially for Your Family
Why ruin the drama? Without a will, your loved ones can enjoy the full experience of confusion, court delays, and conflict. Think of it like reality TV—except it’s your real-life family fighting over furniture, money, or who gets the cat.
No guidance? No problem! Just let the courts decide. And your loved ones can spend months (or even years) sorting through your estate, wondering if you really wanted your golf clubs to go to your third cousin.
Reality check: Without a will, provincial intestacy laws decide who inherits what. That might mean your estranged sibling gets more than your longtime partner. Or your kids inherit at 18 with no guidance or oversight. Surprising? You bet. Comforting? Not at all.
2. You Trust the Government to Make the Right Call
Why bother making decisions when the government will do it for you? If there’s no will, the court will kindly step in to appoint someone to manage your estate. You might get lucky and end up with someone responsible—or not.
And if there’s any friction among your relatives? Well, that’s just more time and money spent on legal fees instead of going to the people or causes that matter to you.
Reality check: A will lets you name your executor—the person you trust to handle your estate, pay debts, and distribute assets. Without one, the court chooses. And if no one steps forward? Expect delays, legal costs, and plenty of frustration.
3. You Think Kids Are Great at Making Adult Decisions
Who better to decide what happens to your estate than your kids? Especially if they’re teenagers who just learned to do their own laundry and think budgeting means checking if they can afford takeout. They’ll definitely make smart, thoughtful choices with your assets… right after upgrading their phone.
It’s easy to assume your children will be taken care of automatically, or that a relative will step up. But unless it’s spelled out legally, none of that is guaranteed. And even if they do inherit, a sudden windfall with no guidance is more burden than gift.
Reality check: If you have young children and no will, your assets may be tied up until your children reach adulthood—without financial guidance or protection. Even adult children may be unprepared to take on major financial decisions without clear instructions.
📌 Real-life example: “He Turned 18—and Inherited Everything”
After Tom’s parents passed, he inherited their entire estate on his 18th birthday—because there was no trust or will to guide distribution. Within a year, much of it was gone. “If they’d had a plan in place, I know I would’ve made better decisions,” he now admits.
4. You Enjoy Watching People Fight Over Your Stuff
Why not leave your loved ones with one final gift: the opportunity to argue over your belongings? Nothing brings out buried resentment like deciding who gets the dining room table or your favorite armchair.
Without clear instructions, even families that get along often end up in conflict. What should you expect? Fireworks. And lawyers.
Reality check: Clear instructions in a will can prevent disputes and help keep relationships intact. When nothing is spelled out, people interpret things their own way—and that can lead to resentment, litigation, and permanently damaged family ties.
5. You’re Planning to Live Forever
This one’s foolproof. If you never die, you never need a will. So keep taking your vitamins, doing yoga, and watching longevity podcasts. Immortality is just around the corner, right?
But seriously—most people don’t plan to die unexpectedly. That’s the point. A will isn’t about being pessimistic. It’s about protecting the people and values that matter to you.
Reality check: As much as we all hope to live long, healthy lives, the truth is that life is unpredictable. Accidents happen. Illnesses strike. A will ensures that what you leave behind is handled the way you intended—with care, clarity, and purpose.
Bonus: You Assume Someone Will Just “Step In” as Guardian
You might assume your best friend, sibling, or parent will take care of your kids if something happens to you. And maybe they will—but that’s not a given unless it’s documented in your will.
The court doesn’t go by intention. It goes by law. That means the person you’d trust most may not even be considered. And in some cases, your children could end up in the care of someone you never would have chosen.
Reality check: A will allows you to name a legal guardian for your children. Without that direction, the court decides who will raise them—and it may not align with your wishes or your child’s best interests.
📌 Real-life example: “They Wouldn’t Let Me Take My Sister’s Kids”
When Amanda’s sister passed away suddenly, Amanda assumed she’d care for her two young nieces. But without a will naming her as guardian, the court awarded custody to a distant relative in another province. “It was devastating,” she says. “I thought we were all on the same page, but there was nothing in writing.”
You Deserve a Say—Even When You’re Not Here
It’s easy to put off estate planning, especially when life is busy. But the cost of doing nothing isn’t just legal—it’s emotional. When you don’t leave clear instructions, you leave behind confusion, court costs, and in some cases, irreversible damage to relationships.
Planning ahead doesn’t have to be overwhelming.
Take the First Step with the Essentials Package
If you’re ready to protect your loved ones from uncertainty, start with a simple plan that brings clarity and peace of mind. At NEXsteps, our Essentials Package is designed to help you:
Clarify your wishes
Get organized
Appoint a trusted executor and guardian
Reduce the burden on those left behind
You don’t have to figure it all out on your own—but you do have to take the first step.
Thoughtful planning for those navigating life independently
Living without a spouse, children, or nearby family is increasingly common—but that doesn’t mean you have to navigate the future alone. In fact, people who are living solo often benefit the most from intentional, personalized planning.
Whether you’ve never had children, are widowed or divorced, or your trusted circle lives far away, the key question becomes:
If something happened tomorrow, who would speak for you?
As a Certified Executor Advisor, I work with individuals who want to protect their autonomy, make informed decisions, and feel confident that their voice will be heard—even if they’re unable to speak for themselves one day. This article will give you insight on how to start.
What It Means to Live Solo and Plan Proactively
Being independent doesn’t mean being unprepared. If you don’t have family to rely on—or don’t want to rely on them—your support system and decision-making framework may look a little different.
Proactive planning ensures that your values, preferences, and goals are respected. And when no immediate family is in the picture, it’s even more important to formalize your wishes and designate people you trust.
Who Will Act on Your Behalf—If You Can’t?
If you experience a medical emergency or become temporarily—or permanently—unable to make decisions, someone will need to step in. And if no one’s been legally named, that responsibility will likely fall to a public trustee or court-appointed guardian.
That’s exactly what happened to Alan, a retired teacher who had lived independently for years. When he had a serious fall and was hospitalized, it quickly became clear that he had no formal Enduring Power of Attorney in place. His nearest relative was a distant cousin he hadn’t seen in over a decade—and the hospital had no one to consult for care decisions. It took weeks to sort out who could legally manage his finances and speak on his behalf, delaying his rehab and increasing his stress during an already difficult time.
Alan’s experience is, unfortunately, not unique. But it’s avoidable—with a little planning.
You’ll want to assign trusted individuals—or professionals—to these key roles:
Enduring Power of Attorney: Oversees financial matters, bill payments, and legal responsibilities.
Medical Directive: Makes health and lifestyle decisions when you’re unable to.
Executor: Administers your estate, pays off debts, files taxes, and distributes assets as outlined in your will.
These responsibilities are often assigned to family members, but when that’s not an option, you can choose friends, neighbours, or professional service providers—as long as they’re legally appointed.
Planning Where—and How—You Want to Live
Housing decisions are deeply personal. And for those living independently, it’s wise to think ahead while you have the freedom to choose.
Ask yourself:
Is my current home suitable if my health or mobility changes?
Am I open to downsizing, co-living, or moving into a community setting?
Would I prefer to stay at home with the right support in place?
Exploring these questions in advance allows you to plan on your terms—rather than reacting to a crisis. It also helps you identify what services or individuals might need to be part of your future support team.
Client Spotlight: Joan’s Story
Joan, a retired librarian in her 70s, recently downsized into a retirement community after more than three decades in the same home. Before the move, she reached out to review her plan and ensure it reflected her new living situation.
We updated her Enduring Power of Attorney and Medical Directive, clarified her executor’s role, and adjusted her personal care preferences to fit her new environment. With everything in place, Joan shared: Moving was a big decision, but having everything else sorted made it feel like I was doing the right thing at the right time.
Build a Team You Can Trust
When you’re living on your own, having a support network you trust is essential. Many of my clients create what I call a “circle of support”—a mix of individuals and professionals who can step in when needed and help carry out their wishes with confidence.
This team might include:
Long-time friends or neighbours who understand your values
A professional fiduciary or legal advisor
A Certified Executor Advisor to help guide planning and decision-making
Care coordinators, end-of-life consultants, or other support services
Client Spotlight: Heather’s Story
At 72, Heather—a retired nurse living without nearby family—wanted to be proactive about her future. She chose the Essentials Package to get clear on her options and put key documents in place.
With guidance, she appointed a trusted friend as her Representative for her Medical Directive and selected a professional fiduciary to manage her finances and serve as executor. After we wrapped up, Heather said, “I didn’t realize how much peace of mind I’d feel just knowing everything is in place—and that it’s all written down properly.”
You don’t need to have all the answers at the beginning—you just need a solid starting point. Even a small, well-informed circle of support can make a meaningful difference. And the most important ingredient? Trust.
Keep Your Plan Current and Clear
Creating a plan is a strong first step—but it’s not something you do once and forget. As your life evolves, your documents and decisions should evolve with it.
A move, a shift in finances, or even changing relationships can affect who you’ve named and how your wishes are carried out. That’s why I offer an Annual Estate & Legacy Plan Review—a structured, low-pressure opportunity to revisit your plan and make sure everything still reflects your current reality and goals.
Client Spotlight: David’s Story
David, a 68-year-old retired business owner, started with the Comprehensive Legacy Package to get everything in place. With no children and siblings living out of province, he wanted clarity and structure for the friends he had asked to manage his affairs.
We built a plan and scheduled regular reviews to keep everything current. After one of those check-ins, David said: “This gave me real peace of mind. Now I know things are organized—and that I’ve made it easier for the people I care about.”
A quick annual review can prevent confusion later—and gives you confidence that your plan continues to serve you well as life changes.
Preserve Your Voice, Protect Your Wishes
Living solo means you have more freedom—and also more responsibility to ensure your wishes are respected. The good news is, with a clear plan and the right people in place, you can enjoy peace of mind today while protecting your future independence.
Ready to Begin?
I support individuals who are living independently in creating proactive, thoughtful plans that reflect their goals, lifestyle, and values. Whether you need to start from scratch or refine existing documents, I can help.
Start with the Essentials Package – A focused session to identify your needs and next steps
Or choose the Comprehensive Legacy Package – A full-service planning experience with ongoing support
Ready to take the first step toward a plan that truly works for you—now and in the years ahead? At NEXsteps, we’re here to guide you with clarity, compassion, and expertise.
Letters That Outlive You: Why a Legacy Letter Still Matters
How a Simple, Heartfelt Legacy Letter Can Leave a Lasting Impact on Those You Love
If you’ve ever wondered how you’ll be remembered, a legacy letter is one of the most heartfelt and lasting ways to share your personal message with those who matter most.
Here’s a simple question to consider: If you had five minutes to tell your loved ones what matters most—what would you say?
That’s a question I sometimes ask when talking about legacy planning. Not everyone has thought about it before, but once they do, the responses are often deeply moving. And it’s not about legal documents or financial instructions—it’s something more personal: a legacy letter.
What Is a Legacy Letter?
A legacy letter (sometimes called an ethical will or a values letter) is a written message you leave behind to share what’s in your heart. It might include your hopes for your loved ones, lessons you’ve learned, stories you want remembered, or a reminder of how much someone meant to you.
There’s no formal structure—just your words, your voice, and your values. You don’t need to be a writer, and you don’t need to wait until the end of life to begin.
A Story That Stays With Me
I once worked with a woman—let’s call her Margaret—who had done all the right things when it came to estate planning. Her documents were in place. Her executor was clear on the next steps. But she still felt something was missing.
“I want my daughter to understand why I made some of the decisions I did,” she told me. “And I want her to know how much I love her, even though we haven’t always communicated that well.”
Together, we worked on a simple letter. It wasn’t long or fancy, but it was thoughtful and heartfelt. When Margaret passed, her daughter told me it was one of the most meaningful things she received. “I’ll read that letter for the rest of my life,” she said.
Moments like that remind me how powerful our words can be—especially when we’re no longer here to say them ourselves.
What Makes a Legacy Letter So Meaningful
In a world where so many messages are short-lived—texts, emails, social media—taking the time to write something lasting really stands out.
A legacy letter gives you the opportunity to say what matters most, in your own way. It doesn’t have to be polished or poetic. It just needs to be you.
Here are a few things people often include:
A bit about their life journey
What they value most
Hopes for the next generation
Apologies or forgiveness
Personal stories or advice
Messages of love and appreciation
You can write to one person, your whole family, or even your broader community or future generations. There’s no right or wrong way—only what feels meaningful to you.
Not Just for the End of Life
One common misconception is that legacy letters are only for those nearing the end of life. But really, anyone can write one—at any age.
Some people write them when they become parents. Others during a life transition like retirement. Some do it just because they feel a pull to put their thoughts on paper.
You can update your letter as life changes. Or write more than one. It’s a living document—just like your story.
Getting Started
If the idea appeals to you but you’re not sure where to begin, try this simple prompt:
“If I had five minutes to say what matters most, what would I write?”
That’s it. Start there. Don’t overthink it. Write like you’re talking to someone you care about. You can organize it later if you’d like—but the first step is simply getting your thoughts down.
Legacy in Action: When Brian turned 70, he gave each of his grandchildren a letter along with a small gift. One grandchild later told him, “I keep it in my desk and read it when I need encouragement.” That one page became a lifelong keepsake.
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
For some people, the words come easily. For others, it takes a little reflection and guidance to get started.
I’ve helped many individuals find their voice and shape their thoughts into something meaningful—whether through conversation, structured questions, or by compiling letters into keepsakes for family to cherish.
If you feel ready to begin but aren’t sure how, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Writing your legacy letter can be part of a broader plan for your future—and there are thoughtful resources that can help make that process easier and more personal.
You’ll find more details about our services on NEXsteps.ca, including ways to preserve your letter or include it in a memory book.
A Simple, Lasting Gift
A legacy letter isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being real. It’s your chance to say what matters most, in your own voice, while you still can.
You might be surprised how meaningful this simple act of writing can be—not just for those who receive your letter, but for you as the writer, too.
So go ahead—grab a pen or open a blank document. Start with just one sentence. You don’t have to share it yet. But starting is what counts.
And if you’d like support along the way, I’m just a message away.
