Executor Survival Kit: You’ve Been Named. Now What?

So… you’ve just found out you’ve been named executor.

Maybe you expected it. Maybe it came out of left field. Either way, it’s official.  You’re now the person responsible for settling someone’s estate.

And while most people assume this is just a matter of filing a few papers and handing out inheritance cheques, those of us who’ve actually walked the path know better. Being an executor is a big job, one that often starts when you’re already grieving, confused, and overwhelmed.

This article isn’t about checklists. It’s about you.  It’s about how you can protect your emotional bandwidth, avoid legal landmines, and keep your head above water while carrying out someone’s final wishes.

Take Care of You First

Here’s the truth: settling an estate is stressful. There’s grief. There’s pressure. There are family dynamics (which are rarely simple). And there’s a ton of paperwork, timelines, and responsibilities that most people aren’t prepared for.

If that sounds like a lot, that’s because it is. So please, before anything else, be sure to take a moment to acknowledge what you’re feeling. Grief and guilt, resentment and obligation… it’s all normal.

Know What You’re Actually Taking On

Being named executor isn’t just a symbolic gesture. It means you’re legally responsible for wrapping up someone’s entire financial life: filing taxes, paying off debts, distributing assets, closing accounts, dealing with property, and more.

It also means you’re on the hook if something goes wrong.

And here’s what most people don’t know: you don’t have to say yes. If the estate is too complex or if you’re not in a place where you can manage it, you’re allowed to decline. Or, you can accept the role but get help – professional, experienced support that keeps you out of trouble and helps you navigate the process.

You Don’t Have to Do Everything

This role can take a year or more. It’s not just a weekend project. There’s a reason it’s known as “the unpaid part-time job nobody trains for.”

There’s no award for doing it all yourself. In fact, trying to handle everything, while working, parenting, grieving, or just living, can lead to burnout, resentment, and mistakes.

• You’re allowed to ask for help.
• You’re allowed to delegate.
• You’re allowed to say, “This is too much for one person.”

And if you’re feeling unsure about what to do (or when), that’s exactly why I created services like my Executor Essentials package.

The Survival Kit (A Quick Starter List)

Here’s what every executor needs in their toolkit before they ever fill out a form:

• Emotional support – Someone who won’t judge your tears, frustration, or need to vent
• Legal clarity – A basic understanding of what you can and can’t do (and when to ask for help)
• Organizational system – A binder, folder, or spreadsheet to track it all
• Boundaries – With family, friends, and even your own inner perfectionist
• Back-up – Professional guidance for the tough stuff, whether it’s selling a house, dealing with tax issues, or managing disputes

Need help setting up your own Executor’s Survival Kit? Let’s talk. I’m here to guide you through it .

You Were Trusted for a Reason—But You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Being an executor is a huge responsibility. But it doesn’t have to come at the cost of your health, your peace of mind, or your sanity.

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being supported.

If you’re overwhelmed, confused, or just not sure where to begin, I invite you to take the first step. My Executor Support programs are designed to walk with you through the process—whether you need a little guidance or a lot.

And most importantly?

Be kind to yourself. You’re doing something hard. You don’t have to do it alone.

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